Beyond Famous (Famous #3) Read online

  ~Cade,

  Last night meant everything to me and I'll cherish every moment we've shared. Having you with me, so close to me, and knowing how much you love me, has been the greatest gift of my life.

  I'm so proud of you and know you'll be amazing in this new film,. I'll miss you and ache for you every single second you're away from me. You have all of my heart, forever. Remember... I love you, so much.

  ~Yours Always,

  Brook

  P.S. PW = CadeNBrook

  My heart swelled at her words and also the choice of password. One of the gossip gurus had combined our names for our rumored couple status and while neither Brook nor I were particularly fond of labels, we agreed that this was one we would be able to live with.

  CadeNBrook I shook my head and ran my hand through my messy locks. Bloody perfect. How could I expect anything less?

  I flipped open the cover and rested my hand lovingly on the page, my fingers tracing over the words. Brook's rough handwriting filled page after page as she poured her emotions out to herself, and to me. Her love was so precious and had become a tangible part of my existence. My heart raced as I began to read.

  April 15

  We worked on the coffee shop scene today. Most of the extras were local, and I could see them all stare at Cade as Martin prepped the scene and the makeup and hair people did a re-touch. The women were so obvious; standing close and never taking their eyes off of him. It was SO annoying, but I hope I didn’t let it show. That would have been embarrassing.

  Cade and I had practiced the lines over and over the night before, even though this was one of the scenes we did at Cade's audition. Both of us knew the dialogue forward and backwards, but I made the excuse that we should run the lines so that I could be with him last night. Every cell in my body was screaming one thing over and over... STAY. I feel guilty because of my relationship with David, but I can't begin to help what I'm feeling.

  Cade touches me... without touching me, holds me without holding me. I can't fucking explain it, but I'm aching for him. Yearning for his kisses and his touch... I feel him on my skin just from the way he looks at me. I feel like there are magnets in my chest that pull me to him. God, I wanted the scene to continue, but I could only flub my lines so long before Cade gave me a strange look because of all the rehearsal.

  At the end of the scene when we hugged, I never wanted to let go. I love being close to him. One take and we nailed it, but at the end his eyes dropped to my mouth and the pull was so strong, all I wanted was his mouth on mine. I thought I would die when the scene was done and we hadn't kissed.

  That beautiful mouth haunts my dreams nightly. So many nights I lay here listening to music, wondering what he's doing... if he ever thinks about me like this. This song playing now... God, it's so perfect for how I feel about Cade. The longing I feel consumes me, sometimes more than I can deal with.

  The air left my lungs and my eyes closed as her words and emotions took my breath away. In the margin, Brook had written Incredible Love by I. Michaelson. The song flashed through my head as I tried to remember the lyrics.

  Incredible love... you fill me… spill me… kill me.

  Brook was right. That was so bloody us, I thought. Right from the moment I'd first laid eyes on her.

  Ingrid Michaelson was one of my favorite singer/songwriters. I loved the soulfulness of her lyrics and rich melodies of her music. She’d gotten more famous, but I listened to her stuff before anyone knew her name. I’d played that song many times, thinking of Brook. During the early days of working on pre-production, we'd talked about anything and everything, not the least of which was our favorite music, books, and movies.

  Brook and I shared so much and were so in sync. No one could ever be more amazing or more perfect for me. Getting to know her just made me more and more certain that she would be the love of my life. Even that early in production and despite her relationship with that wanker, David, I knew I had to do whatever necessary to make it happen. Whatever necessary.

  All the women screaming after me became a joke because the one that I wanted above all others seemed elusive and untouchable. She had been so young, and I felt insecure about whether I should even approach her. There were so many times when I thought it might never come to fruition.

  But now, almost a year and a half later, here in my hands was the proof that she was not left untouched by the love I felt and showered upon her. I loved knowing the words stating her love, were written at the same time I was struggling to control my own feelings. It was a deep connection and it meant the world to me.

  I vaguely remembered hearing Incredible Love last night while we made love, but I had been so lost in the passionate haze, and the pleasure of her body, and the sadness that enveloped us, that I couldn't be sure. I pulled the iPod out of my duffel and searched through the songs. There it was. I put the buds in my ears and let the music transport me back into her arms and back to the day when she'd written the entry in her journal.

  The ache in my chest began to subside slightly. I'd miss her like hell, but at least I could be certain that she loved me. She loved me beyond reason, just as I loved her... and the knowledge gave me the strength to get through the next weeks.

  My heart swelled as I let the lyrics rush through me, the music so sensual as it surrounded me.

  Brook felt these things for me before I'd told her that I loved her... I had to have faith that if the bond between us was so unspoken then, now we could survive anything. After all we had been through, all we had felt and said to each other, nothing in the world would bloody come between us.

  Nothing.

  "BROOK... HONEY, IT will be okay. That boy loves you."

  I sat despondently in the passenger seat of my car as my mother drove us back to my parents' house. I’d put my sunglasses on to hide my swollen eyes. I felt so tired.

  "I know he loves me," I said softly though I was filled with sadness. "Three months seems like forever. Our production schedules are so screwed that we'll have a hell of a time seeing each other at all until the end of August for Comic-Con." I leaned my head on the window and closed my eyes and willed myself not to cry. "I already miss him."

  "What can I do to help?" Mom asked and reached for my hand. She squeezed softly, but I didn't find comfort in her attempt. Only one touch, one voice, one face would comfort me.

  It wouldn't do any good to lament a situation that I had no control over so I quickly brushed the tears from my cheeks and answered my mother.

  "I think I'd like to look for a place of my own, Mom." When my mother gasped and began to speak, I quickly continued. "I want a private place that Cade and I can be together. It's time that I took that step anyway, don't you think?"

  “You’re so young,” she began.

  I rolled my eyes and sighed. “I’m almost twenty, mom. Plus, I’m older in my head than most people my age. You’ve always said so.”

  “I know, but still…”

  “But nothing, mom. I need this. Decorating and setting up a place will give me something to concentrate on other than Cade being gone.”

  "Are you planning on having him move in with you?" she asked hesitantly.

  I thought about it for a moment before I answered. Nothing would make me happier than having him live with me, but we still had Pinnacle to deal with. "Um... we haven't really discussed it, but I can't see us being apart when we're in the same city. I doubt we can officially move in together even though I know that Cade gave up his apartment when he went back to London... last January."

  "He was in so much pain. I know you both were."

  "Yes... but it's made us a lot stronger. I can't say that seeing him kissing another chick for this film is going to be a breeze, but I trust him completely. Pinnacle is going to try to spin the shit out of any photos of him with his new co-star, and Cade's worried how it will affect me. So I have to be like iron." A new sense of control and determination came over me.

  "What did you tell him, Brook? He alw
ays puts your feelings first. Even your father has noticed."

  I smiled, the corners of my mouth lifted sadly. "Yeah and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him either." I ran a hand through my hair and turned my body more toward the center of the car. "I told him that I love him more than anything, that I'm proud of him and that I know he'll rock the shit out of this movie. Because he will, Mom."

  She didn't say anything, just nodded with a big grin on her face. She’d support us, no matter what we were planning, which was a relief. It was apparent from her appearance today at The Beverly Hills Hotel, so I felt the time had come to tell her about the engagement ring. My hand went up to lovingly touch the diamond heart hanging beneath my shirt. I pulled it out and stroked it between my fingers.

  "Mom...” I paused when she looked at me and smiled after seeing the necklace in my hands.

  "That's certainly beautiful, Brook. It's obvious how much he adores you. You should have seen his face today after you started crying and he still had to leave you. My heart was breaking for both of you."

  My chest constricted at the memory of him tapping on the window, the look on his face so lost as he slowly moved away from my car.

  Jesus. I closed my eyes.

  "I know. It kills me when he's hurting. I'm hoping that after this summer, things will be easier, and we'll have less time apart. He... Cade asked me to marry him, Mom." My eyes snapped to her face, and I held my breath waiting for her to blow her top and tell me I was way too young to get married.

  She didn't. She just smiled and nodded her head. "I know. Your father does too, Brook. We were wondering how long it would take you to tell us."

  My eyes widened and I shook my head slightly, almost imperceptibly.

  "What? But... how did you know?"

  She sighed as she turned into our neighborhood and drove down the street to our house. "He came to us and asked for our permission."

  Thud. My heart stopped and my breath left my lungs.

  It was so... Cade. "When?"

  "The day after Thanksgiving. Before you woke up, honey. He asked us if he could talk to us when I was making breakfast. He was so cute, running his hands through his hair over and over... so nervous. He sat down and told us how much he loved you and wanted to take care of you, that he valued you above all everything else in the world. Your father always liked Cade, honey, but that morning, Brook, his chest puffed up like he was his own son. I've wanted to tell you for months."

  My hand covered my mouth as my eyes welled. I couldn't speak.

  My mother pulled into our garage and shut the car off before she turned to me.

  "He told us that he'd already asked you and you said yes, but he wouldn't even think of going through with anything until he knew he had our blessing. He showed me the ring, Brook. It's gorgeous."

  I felt a sob rise in my chest as she put her arms around me. "Mom... I... can’t believe this! I don’t think I can breathe if I don't marry him."

  "I know. He told us something so similar. He said he didn't want a life without you, Brook," her voice caught as we both cried together.

  "What did you and Dad tell him?" I choked out.

  "I just hugged him and your father said that nothing would make him prouder than to welcome Cade into our family."

  "Oh, my God," I cried and laughed at the same time. "He's so flipping perfect, isn't he?" I pulled back from her and tried to wipe the tears from my face. "Isn't he?"

  "Yes, perfect," she agreed, "but we are hoping you'll wait a while."

  "Cade isn't rushing me, Mom. In fact, he rarely speaks of it, but I do know that it would make him happy to see that ring on my finger. He's such an honest person he wants to be real and tell everyone we’re together.”

  "I can understand that. He deserves that, Brook. If you love him, you should want the world to know too."

  "I do. But we've got these damn contracts for now. We're planning on being more open during the third film and the managers and lawyers are dealing with it all. Hopefully, it can be sooner than later. We just have to get through the next three months."

  I WOKE THE NEXT morning early to the sound of Cade's voice on my alarm. I had the Allure photo shoot and hair and makeup call was at 9 AM.

  Hair.

  My stomach lurched at the prospect of chopping it all off for my next role, but it had to be done. I knew that I'd never throw myself into the role if I didn't fully commit to it, besides sometimes those movie hair people didn’t exactly make that shit look real. This cover was coming out in November, just before Don’t Forget to Remember Me hit theaters, so I still had to look like Julia. Only hotter, I hoped.

  Leave it to Jeanne to make sure all of my ducks were in a row. She was my organizer and kept me on track, so yes, this shoot had to be today. I wanted Cade to see these pictures and miss me. Okay, more than miss me. I’d settle for aching uncomfortably. I smirked at myself. Maybe that was mean but I needed him to want me and miss me as much as I missed him.

  I searched for a sexy song to send him that he could listen to when those pictures hit the Internet. No doubt within twenty-four hours. That fucking shit pissed me off, but it was expected.

  I found the perfect song and typed out an email to Cade to go along with it.

  -C

  The lyrics to this are so effing hot and it's exactly what you do to me. If you find the photos tonight, listen to this song. Know that this is how I feel and you are who I'm thinking about, with my eyes focused on you, and this music in my head, my body on fire for yours and my heart full of love for you. You're mine and I'm yours...

  I want you... Love you... need you...

  -B

  I added Oh My God by Pink to the iPod library. I knew he'd get it when he woke up. My heart raced when I saw a message from him waiting in my inbox, the subject line, Leave the Memories Alone.

  I opened the message, my heart thumping in my chest as I read words.

  Babe,

  I don't want to see

  The way it is, as to how it used to be…

  I'm missing you desperately. Even one night without you in my arms is too many. I'll remember everything about you... Your beautiful face, the way you smell and taste... How you feel in my arms. I love you more than anything.

  Don't ever forget that.

  Always,

  -C

  God. As I downloaded Leave the Memories Alone on iTunes. I was running late, so I'd have to listen to it on my way to the shoot. That song plus the one I'd just sent to Cade would be playing in my head all day. I smiled as I imagined his reaction. It was super hot, and I hope it worked him up.

  I got up, went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting my thoughts drift back to the conversation I'd had with Cade the night before as I stepped under the hot spray.

  He’d made it to New York and met with the director and production manager for dinner. His co-stars would be on set later in the week, but Cade had some scenes to film on his own first. My heart tightened a little at the thought of him being away from me and working with someone else on a romantic film. I wished it weren’t romantic. I had some damn space odyssey dystopian thing and he had a romance. Awesome. I let the water soothe me as I washed my hair and remembered his voice on the phone the night before.

  I had snuggled into my bed wearing one of his T-Shirts that he'd worn the day before; his scent floating around me and his velvet voice in my ear. So sexy...

  "Brook, I miss you... I bloody hate this."

  I sighed and rolled onto my back, searching for the words he needed to hear.

  "Me too, but we'll be okay. I still love you... even if it is from across the country," I said softly.

  He sighed heavily on the other end of the phone. "Yeah, but it sucks to be without you, love."

  I felt my body flush at the words and my heart swell. "I know. I feel it too, but I am trying so hard to stay positive. Feeling like crap only means I love you. I'd feel worse if I didn't miss you this much. So I want the ache. I want it," I
whispered.

  "Ugh... God, Brook," he moaned into the phone and my body tightened and throbbed at the sound. "Believe me, I ache too. In several places."

  I laughed, happily. "I'm wearing your T-Shirt. It still smells like you. I never want to wash it."

  "Mmm. I miss you."

  "Just think how much I'm going to climb all over you when I see you next. Mmm...” I teased. "And the pictures tomorrow; are just for you."

  "Has it only been fifteen hours since I've touched you? It feels like fifteen fucking years."

  "Uhhh, Cade. I hope it gets easier.”

  "Impossible."

  I smiled into the phone. "Tell me what you've got going on tomorrow."

  He proceeded to tell me about the production schedule and meeting the co-stars, and how Denise was working to get him some time off, maybe around the Fourth of July. My mind was already reeling about how I could get some time off to surprise him in New York as well, knowing that we couldn't go ten weeks without seeing each other. We stayed on the phone for almost two hours and it was very hard to let him go, but I heard him yawn and knew he'd have to be up fairly early. Given the time difference, he’d only have three or four hours of sleep.

  "Baby, you need to sleep. I'll call you tomorrow."

  "I don't think I'll sleep without you, Brook."

  "Do something to relax. Take a shot of something, take a shower, or...”

  "Your hands are the only ones I want on me, if you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting." He laughed softly.

  "It's just a thought," I said softly and smiled into the phone. "Better your hands than someone else's."

  "Brook." His voice hardened a little. "That isn't going to happen. You aren't seriously worried about that are you?"