Embracing Today, a firefighter romance: (The Trading Yesterday Series, #3) Read online

  I was annoyed at his crass suggestion and the protectiveness inside bolstered. “Yeah, I noticed,” I said honestly. “Have a little sensitivity, please. The woman just saw someone she loved burned alive, so why don’t you grow up? She’s off limits. I’m just helping her out with her animals. From what I gather, she’s not long on friends or family.”

  He nodded and smiled, then punched me softly on the shoulder. “Fine, you be her sensitive friend, Ben.” Davis emphasized the words with sarcastic humor. I liked him in many ways, but my sister’s abusive situation with her first husband had taught me to be more sensitive to hidden pain than the average guy.

  “I will,” I said, feeling uncharacteristically indignant.

  “Good,” he retorted, picking up Gem and scratching her head. The pup wagged her tail and nipped at his fingers playfully. “Let me know when she’s ready to date again, and I’ll call her.”

  “Humph,” I snorted and shook my head in disgust. “Don’t be a dick. Leave her alone.”

  I wasn’t sure if he was pissing with me or serious, but I flashed him a pointed look. I also wasn’t sure if his callousness was what was making me furious, or the prospect of a man, any man, trying to move in on Marin when she was so vulnerable.

  In that second, I made it my mission to find out the rest of Marin Landry’s story. It was unclear why I was so fascinated by her, or why I was feeling so protective, but something told me she was fragile for a reason. It became my new mission to befriend her and make sure she was on a solid road to recovery.

  The others all adored having the puppy at the firehouse and she spent the day frolicking among the crew. I was worried that she’d get sick when they all started giving her bites of their lunch.

  It was turning out to be a quiet afternoon and the station was fairly silent. With the puppy snuggled next to me on my assigned bunk, I did some research on the subject of my thoughts. I found her uncle’s obituary, and noticed he was preceded in death by his parents, and his brother and his wife, who must have been Marin’s parents. More digging found their obits and a news article about a car crash many years earlier.

  Poor kid, I thought. So, she had no family, but why no friends? And why was this woman hanging out in my head all day? I was going to help her, but that was already settled. I shouldn’t be so preoccupied with her predicament. This wasn’t my first rodeo with helpless victims, but this time I wasn’t able to compartmentalize as well as I had in the past.

  I was tired due to my late night and early morning. I closed my eyes, deciding to take a short nap, all the while petting the sleeping puppy who had climbed up and settled on my chest, resting her head beneath my chin. As I started to doze off, I was surprised how quickly we’d bonded. Maybe I’d have to get a dog of my own. I’d been lonely since Missy and Dylan moved to Atlanta the previous year.

  I’d long-since learned to sleep in the midst of my fellow firefighters milling around the station and quickly nodded off.

  It was unclear how much time I’d spent sleeping when I was startled awake by something hitting the bottom of my foot. My eyes opened and I craned my neck to look down my body toward the bottom of my bunk. Captain Connors was leaning in and down peering at me. His bright blue eyes were shinning out of his weathered, but smiling, face. “You got company.”

  “Oh, hey, Cap,” I mumbled sleepily. I rubbed my eyes with the thumb and index finger to clear them. “Who is it?”

  He only chuckled. “Just get your ass up, boy,” he grumbled in his signature good-natured way. “Hurry up. In the garage.”

  My arm wrapped around the puppy who was yawing in protest as I started to remove both of us from the bunk and begin the walk out of the second-floor bunk room to make my way downstairs. The pup was way too small to navigate the steep stairs, so I continued to carry her in my arms, but she started wiggling like crazy and then whining.

  When I walked through the station there weren’t any of the guys in the kitchen or lounge area, which was unusual. Passing through the archway into the garage where the three engines were housed, I noticed a crowd of dark blue uniformed people standing in a semi-circle near one of the open doors.

  As I got closer, I could hear murmured statements of condolences and I realized Marin must be here.

  I wove through the dozen or so men and two women, who had stopped their work cleaning the engines and packing up gear, to hover around the fragile young woman and another; the nurse I recognized from my earlier visit to the hospital.

  Davis was right up in there talking to her, though he was respectful.

  “I’m very sorry for your loss,” he said.

  Marin nodded somberly. “Thank you.”

  The bundle of fur in my arms started to yip and wiggle more the closer I got to her.

  Marin’s face lit up. “Gemmy!”

  I moved closer to hand Marin her puppy, who instantly began licking her face. She reacted by pulling Gem close and kissing the top of her head. “Hey, baby. I missed you!”

  I glanced around, silently communicating that everyone should scatter. I met Davis’ gaze and he offered a slight nod and moved away to get back to work.

  “Hi,” I said. “Are you sure you’re ready for her? I thought you were going to rest today, and I was supposed to come by tonight.”

  It occurred to me that by coming here, Marin Landry was going to collect her dog and tell me to buzz off. A veil of panic settled over me, and I frowned awkwardly. “To help with the horses.” I felt completely out of my element. This bruised young woman had affected me in a way that no one had before. I cleared my throat.

  “Marin, I’m just going to wait for you in the car,” the red-headed nurse said, pointing in the direction of her parked car and backing away. “Nice to see you, again,” she said to me.

  “You, too,” I nodded, feeling rude. “I’m Ben.” I held out a hand to her.

  “Gina,” she said, offering her hand in a brief handshake. “Marin?” she pointed to the car again.

  “Oh, sure. Thanks, Gina. I’ll just be a minute.”

  The jeans and blouse Marin wore looked a size too large and hung loosely on her small frame as she stood before me, still cuddling little Gem.

  I put a hand up and rubbed the back of my neck. “So, I’ll still come out about six to feed and water the horses.”

  “Oh,” she hesitated nervously. “I feel so bad asking you to help me. I’m sure I can manage.”

  This was what I was afraid of. “You’re not in any shape to open new bails of alfalfa and that’s what is needed.” I didn’t want to sound chauvinistic in my comments, but it would be tough for any healthy woman. They weighed up to seventy-five pounds each. “Besides,” I continued gently. “You’re injured, and I’m happy to help.”

  She winced a couple of times when the puppy got too rambunctious in her arms and there was a yellowish bruise on her face that was too old to have happened the night before. My jaw flexed as I clenched my teeth. Did the man who died abuse her? Was she a battered woman like Missy had been? Rage burst inside my chest, and the image of the charred man on the shop floor suddenly wasn’t so horrible to me. The bastard probably got what he deserved.

  Marin’s grey eyes were stormy. “I just feel so bad asking,” she began.

  “Hey, you didn’t ask. I volunteered, okay? I love horses and I always wanted one as a kid. Really, it’s you who is doing me a favor.” The corner of my mouth lifted in the start of a grin.

  “Alright,” she said with a small smile. “I do appreciate it.”

  “Sure.” I felt my smile deepen. “Is there anything you need? Groceries? Should I pick up dinner?” I groaned inwardly. I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was inviting myself for dinner, however, she had to eat, and it would be hard to cook in her injured state. “I mean, you should have some stuff that’s ready to eat in the house. For a few days at least, right?”

  Marin bit her lip and hugged Gem close. “Okay,” she agreed reluctantly. “I don’t feel very well.”
r />   I licked my lips and swallowed. “It’s settled then. See ya, later.” I took two steps forward and rubbed the puppy’s head. “You too, sweet face.”

  Marin’s head cocked and a surprised look dawned on her face.

  I was concerned. “What is it?”

  “Nothing. It’s just… that’s my nickname for her. Did I tell you? Is that how you knew? I was sort of out of it last night.”

  I shook my head and smiled. “Nope. But she does have a sweet face. Gem certainly suits her. I think I’m already in love.” I winked, casually. “I should get back to work.”

  Marin nodded and started to walk toward Gina’s car. “See you later, then.”

  MARIN

  Gem settled onto my lap and fell asleep on the way out to the ranch. I gave directions to my new friend, Gina.

  Once we headed out of Jackson in her dark grey Toyota Camry, she grinned and threw me an offhand glance as she watched the road. “Who’s the cute fireman?” she asked. The expression on her face was lit up with undisguised interest. “I mean, I know his name but um...”

  I flushed with guilt and an odd sort of jealousy. It wasn’t even twenty-four hours since Carter had died. “Um…” I began, almost unwilling to share more. I didn’t really know anything, but I felt strangely selfish about him.

  Instantly, her expression changed to one of regret. “Oh, I’m so sorry. That was incredibly insensitive after all you’ve lost.”

  There was a big part of me that wanted to confide in her; tell her how Carter had abused me and beat me, how I was glad to be rid of him, even if I would have preferred him to just leave rather than dying in the fiery inferno that I had caused. I felt sick to my stomach remembering his blood-curdling screams.

  I shook my head, still stroking the silky puppy on my lap. Her warm presence offered a little comfort as my fingers threaded through her soft black coat. “Oh, no, you’re fine. I don’t know that much about him,” I answered honestly. “He was kind last night after the fire. He helped me with this little one and my horses when I had to go to the hospital. He’s been so nice.”

  “He’s like some bronze god and if that wasn’t enough, he straps on all that silver armor,” she murmured, almost to herself. She seemed to regret her words. “I mean, it’s great he was there to help you. And then the way he came to check on you, he seemed genuinely concerned.”

  Her words echoed my thoughts. Ben was physically stunning, but his personality was the thing that made him stand apart. If only Carter could have had just a fraction of the qualities I’d seen in the handsome fireman. If only I’d met Ben instead of Carter. I was always in the wrong place at the wrong time, picking the wrong guy.

  I nodded. “Yes,” I said softly. “I don’t know what I would have done if I’d had to leave my animals stranded out there all night. Ben was a huge help.”

  “Is this where I turn? Up here?” Gina’s face turned toward me when I didn’t answer right away.

  My eyes started to burn behind my sunglasses, and then I swallowed hard trying to suck up my misery. I pointed to the dirt road in front of us.

  “Yes, take a right at the next intersection.” She must have heard the catch in my voice.

  “I seem to remember my dad bringing a couple of cars out here to The Shop when I was growing up.”

  Her words, though innocent, conjured so much pain. The true knight in shining armor of my life had been my Uncle Leonard. I put a hand over my mouth as my shoulders started to shake. Sobs racked my body as if a dam had burst.

  “Oh, Marin. I’m such a twit yammering on and on about nonsense when you’re suffering so badly.”

  After a few minutes, I was able to curtail my pathetic display. I sniffed and put the back of my hand to my nose, but tears continued to roll down my face. “No, it’s just… my uncle was the only person who really cared about me in the entire world and I feel so lost now.”

  I could see the question flash across her features even as she kept her gaze on the road ahead. She was wondering why I didn’t include Carter in that equation.

  “What about the man from yesterday?” she began.

  I shook my head sadly as tears clung to my lashes and smeared the lenses of my sunglasses. “Carter. His name was Carter Stanton.”

  Gina appeared shocked. “Wasn’t he your boyfriend?”

  “We dated for a couple of years, yes.”

  “And now you have this loss on top of that of your uncle,” she said. Her sad expression was filled with empathy.

  Once again, the urge to tell Gina every horrible thing about Carter surfaced, but I didn’t know her well enough to trust her. Not yet. She might come to the conclusion I’d killed him on purpose. As much as I wanted to believe she was my friend, I couldn’t take the risk. I couldn’t confess that Carter only pretended to love me, or that it was all a well-crafted act to convince first me, then Uncle Leonard, because he just wanted control of the business. I’d just been too stupid to realize it.

  It was humiliating, yes, but I couldn’t let anyone know the truth. I was feeling thankful that the ranch house was about a half-mile in front of us and I’d finally be alone. This felt like torture when all I wanted to do was take a bath, and cry. I wanted to put this nightmare behind me and the less I had to speak about Carter, the better.

  “Is Carter’s family from around here?”

  Jackson Hole was a small town, and most folks knew everyone else.

  I shook my head. “No. He moved to town and got a job at the shop while I was away at college.” I remembered one or two conversations where Carter had mentioned his family, but it wasn’t much. “I don’t remember him saying much, except he had followed his high school girlfriend to college in Seattle, and then when that ended, he’d been on his way back to Minnesota and passed through here, saw the help wanted sign Uncle Leonard had posted on the bulletin board in the diner, and then I guess, Uncle Leonard hired him.”

  “You never met his family? In two years?” Gina was shocked.

  I shook my head, feeling foolish and somehow ashamed that he’d never taken me home to meet them. “No. They never visited. Thinking back on it, it does seem odd.”

  “I see. So, we should start looking in Minnesota?”

  “Probably. I’ll see what I can find online, later tonight.”

  Gina smiled gently, finally pulling into the long white fence-lined lane for the now short drive up to the house. Gem started to wiggle on my lap as familiar scents of the mixed wildflowers along the ditches and in the pastures, as well as the faint scent of horses in the early summer air. There was a warm, dry breeze blowing as I got out of Gina’s car and put Gem on the ground. “Go potty, sweet face,” I said encouragingly.

  “She’s adorable,” Gina said, getting out of the car and leaning on the top. I could have invited her in, but the day and the past night was wearing on me.

  “She’s been a Godsend,” I said, letting it slip before I caught myself. “Um, I’ll wash your clothes and bring them by the hospital tomorrow.”

  The pretty redhead smiled. “Oh, just whenever you can, honey.”

  I nodded. “Thank you.”

  “Listen, if you ever want to talk, I’m a good listener.”

  “I appreciate that.” It was the truth. I could use a few friends, but I needed to get to know her better before I shared too much. It was better to keep to myself for a couple of months.

  “If you need any help with arrangements, food, or whatever… please don’t hesitate. I lost my brother in a car accident a few years ago, so I know how hard times like this can be. If I can pick anyone up at the airport—”

  “Thank you, Gina. I’ll let you know. Right now, I’m just going to rest for a while.” My eyes were tired, and I knew I wasn’t finished with the torrent of tears that were simmering just under the surface. In the distance, the charred remains of the shop sat as a gruesome reminder of what had occurred, and the faint smell of burning wood still wafted in the air.

  She walked around and gave
me a hug and I did my very best not to grimace in pain while I hugged her in return.

  “Bat, bat!” Gem’s puppy barks rang out as she ran around happily chasing a couple of Monarch butterflies that had been feeding on the flowers in front of the house. “Bat, bat!”

  “Okay, but if you need help cleaning, cooking, or anything, just call. Even if it’s just someone to be with you at the funeral; I’d like to help.”

  She was so kind, I felt bad for my innate mistrust. “Thank you, again,” I said backing away from her car. “You’ve been so nice. I really appreciate it.”

  She nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you soon, then.”

  “Bye.”

  Gina hesitated before she got into the car. “If you need help, please don’t hesitate to call me.”

  I watched her back up the car and turn around before starting the return trip down the lane toward the road that would take her back into town.

  We’d exchanged numbers earlier, and Gina was the first person that felt even a little like a new friend in a long time. I had no one to blame but myself. Since I’d come home, I’d been idiotically focused on Carter; brainwashed by his act. I sighed heavily and shook my head at my own stupidity. I’d even sacrificed time with my uncle in those last couple of years.

  Fresh tears sprouted in my eyes. I closed my eyes against the pain and turned to sit down on the wooden steps leading up to the porch my uncle had built with his bare hands. I felt his loss so much more than Carter’s, but it was useless to wallow in self-pity. Though I knew it, I couldn’t help the tears that slipped from my eyes. I felt alone and helpless.

  The unpleasant task of sorting through, and getting rid of, Uncle Leonard’s things remained. I hadn’t been strong enough before, and now I’d have to rummage through Carter’s belongings to find any information about his family, but then remembered it all exploded with my car.

  In the months that we’d dated, he always brushed off any of my inquiries, saying he preferred to be alone and his family were a bunch of assholes. Over time, I’d come to realize he was probably the cause of the problems. He had me convinced he was sweet and loving until Uncle Leonard died, then he snapped, and everything changed overnight. If they were anything like Carter, I wasn’t looking forward to meeting his family, but under the circumstances, I had no choice but to try and find them. Surely the fire had been on the news. If they were anywhere close, then they would have heard.